Hello. My name is Scott, and I am a kept dad. I was considering calling this blog "The Kept Man Blog-ject", hoping to entice some female readers drawn in by the possibility of steamy Fifty Shades of Grey-esque escapades such a title hints at, but that would be deceptive, because I am a kept dad, not a kept man. Quelle difference? you might ask (sorry, but I can't help throwing in gratuitous French phrases whenever possible in honor of my Quebec heritage-if you don't like it, excusez moi...oops! did it again). While, like a kept man, I am dependent upon a woman to support me, the difference is I have a purpose beyond working out, tanning, lounging by the pool, and being a tiger in the boudoir...oh, sorry for drifting off. I was just imagining being an actual kept man, in which case my pecs would be bulging and my abs would be flat, rather than the converse. A kept man's entire raison d'etre (sorry) is being a kept man. A kept dad, on the other hand, has a higher purpose: changing diapers, wiping noses, settling squabbles, making meals someone is guaranteed to complain about, and being spurned in the bedroom because a Real Housewives Reunion special is on TV. I know, I'm making the life of a kept dad sound so glamorous.
Why am I writing a blog? I have been a stay-at-home father for going on 10 years, but I fear that my days as a kept dad are numbered. The youngest of my three sons will be 5 years old in January, so when he enters full-time kindergarten next fall, I won't have any kids around during the day to justify my staying at home and will need to look for gainful employment. In this economy? With my atrophied job skills? Are you kidding? My wife has been hinting at that for a little while now, like an exasperated parent trying to get their college-dropout son to put away the video games, change out of his pajamas, get out of the basement and find his own place. I have been a kept dad for almost 4 years more than my longest tenured job. If there were a kept dad pension fund, I could be almost a third of the way to retirement. I earn a little income from watching my wife's sister's two sons after school and during the summer, but soon I will be expected to contribute much more to the family coffers, and with the types of jobs for which I am qualified, I would need to need to work double shifts all week, build a time machine to return to the beginning of the week, then work another week of double shifts just to come close to making what my wife does...wait, if I had a time machine I could go back to when Microsoft had their IPO, buy 100 shares and be a millionaire...but then I wouldn't be a kept dad, so I wouldn't have needed to build the time machine in the first place-this is getting confusing. So The Kept Dad Blog-ject is the coda to my time as a stay-at-home father, a paean to the life of a kept dad. I'll share stories, tips, gripes, and perhaps the occasional recipe with you, my as yet nonexistent readers.
If I dare to dream, then perhaps my readership will grow to the point where this blog will come up 134,692'nd on Google searches for stay-at-home dad's, I'll be invited to appear as a guest on local cable access shows, I'll be able to convince most of my family and friends to like my blog on Facebook, and I will be able to show my wife that this blog is too popular for me to stop being a kept dad, that it is the seed which could sprout into a garden of Kept Dad cross-promotional opportunities...cookbooks, cocktails, t-shirts, man-purses, the possibilities are limited only by my complete lack of capital and market presence. Not likely, I know, but then a kept dad's reach should exceed his grasp, and I'm reduced to grasping at straws now. Whatever happens, hopefully the journey will be enjoyable, or at least blog-able. Thanks for following me, or maybe just stumbling upon this blog by accident. I'll take whatever I can get.
P.S. Sorry if this blog is sort of generic-looking, but I've never done this before and haven't figured out all the tricks and tools yet. Hopefully I'll be able to put up some virtual curtains, and digital tchotchkes to liven the place up a bit. If you have any tips, feel free to let me know and help me pimp my blog. And if any of you happen to also be stay-at-home father's, let me know. We kept dads need to stick together. Thanks.
Why am I writing a blog? I have been a stay-at-home father for going on 10 years, but I fear that my days as a kept dad are numbered. The youngest of my three sons will be 5 years old in January, so when he enters full-time kindergarten next fall, I won't have any kids around during the day to justify my staying at home and will need to look for gainful employment. In this economy? With my atrophied job skills? Are you kidding? My wife has been hinting at that for a little while now, like an exasperated parent trying to get their college-dropout son to put away the video games, change out of his pajamas, get out of the basement and find his own place. I have been a kept dad for almost 4 years more than my longest tenured job. If there were a kept dad pension fund, I could be almost a third of the way to retirement. I earn a little income from watching my wife's sister's two sons after school and during the summer, but soon I will be expected to contribute much more to the family coffers, and with the types of jobs for which I am qualified, I would need to need to work double shifts all week, build a time machine to return to the beginning of the week, then work another week of double shifts just to come close to making what my wife does...wait, if I had a time machine I could go back to when Microsoft had their IPO, buy 100 shares and be a millionaire...but then I wouldn't be a kept dad, so I wouldn't have needed to build the time machine in the first place-this is getting confusing. So The Kept Dad Blog-ject is the coda to my time as a stay-at-home father, a paean to the life of a kept dad. I'll share stories, tips, gripes, and perhaps the occasional recipe with you, my as yet nonexistent readers.
If I dare to dream, then perhaps my readership will grow to the point where this blog will come up 134,692'nd on Google searches for stay-at-home dad's, I'll be invited to appear as a guest on local cable access shows, I'll be able to convince most of my family and friends to like my blog on Facebook, and I will be able to show my wife that this blog is too popular for me to stop being a kept dad, that it is the seed which could sprout into a garden of Kept Dad cross-promotional opportunities...cookbooks, cocktails, t-shirts, man-purses, the possibilities are limited only by my complete lack of capital and market presence. Not likely, I know, but then a kept dad's reach should exceed his grasp, and I'm reduced to grasping at straws now. Whatever happens, hopefully the journey will be enjoyable, or at least blog-able. Thanks for following me, or maybe just stumbling upon this blog by accident. I'll take whatever I can get.
P.S. Sorry if this blog is sort of generic-looking, but I've never done this before and haven't figured out all the tricks and tools yet. Hopefully I'll be able to put up some virtual curtains, and digital tchotchkes to liven the place up a bit. If you have any tips, feel free to let me know and help me pimp my blog. And if any of you happen to also be stay-at-home father's, let me know. We kept dads need to stick together. Thanks.
Yay, Scott! So excited to see you doing this . . .and hoping that you'll post some of your amazing recipes! For people that don't know Scott personally, he is not just a kept-dad, but an awesome dad, raising intelligent, well-mannered kids!
ReplyDeleteProud of you big bro! Really great blog - entertaining x's a million - had me in stitches! May your blog-life be long and full like the many, many diapers you have changed! Looking forward to my next fix - your sis :)
ReplyDeleteHi hon - so proud of you for finally doing a blog! It's nice to know my nagging has finally paid off :) I love you tons and I'm very proud of you. I am happy you are letting others have a glimpse into one of your many talents!
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