My Wife is out of town for work right now. She Left Wednesday the 24th, and doesn't return until Halloween, Wednesday the 31st. That's seven nights! She travels fairly frequently for work, every couple months or so, but usually she's only gone for 2 or 3 nights at a time, 4 tops. She's gone for an entire week this time. It's almost like we're having a trial separation. It's not that I can't hold down the fort at home while she's away, I am the Kept Dad after all, and I've had plenty of practice from all of her other trips, but I'm outnumbered 3 to 1 now, and I don't have any backup for an entire week. Every whine and complaint is directed toward me, and I can't redirect any to my wife, or tell two squabbling siblings to let their mom arbitrate their argument. It's all on me. So don't think that because the boss is gone all week that I'm slacking off, watching ESPN and tweaking my fantasy football roster all day...Okay, I am spending a little extra time on fantasy football, but I need to. have you seen my running backs? They're awful. On paper, my team should be medicore. Of course fantasy football isn't played on paper, it's played on...um, tiny circuits flowing with electrons.
Of course, I miss my wife, but notwithstanding my aforementioned complaints, in some ways things are a little easier when she's gone. There's one less mouth to feed, one less mess-maker to clean up after. I get to watch my shows like The Colbert Report and History Channel, instead of Real World Housewife Teen Dance Moms of Jersey Shore 90210. I can make a batch of taco meat and get four meals out of the leftovers without her complaining she wants something different (tacos, nachos, taco burgers, taco pizza, heck why not taco-roni and cheese? I just made that dish up, but it sure sounds promising). Our bathroom counter isn't cluttered with makeup and hair products. Diet Coke cans aren't stacked up on her nightstand and desk. She does leave piles of clothes scattered across our bedroom floor that looks like the aftermath of a tornado sweeping through a Ross Dress for Less as she tries every possible permutation of garments in her closet, complaining she doesn't like any of them and dropping them on the floor, before packing the ones she hates the least. I usually spend all morning the day she flies out, picking up her clothes that didn't make the cut and putting them back in the closet and dresser.
Today is the fourth day she's been gone, so her trip is about half over. Four more nights of flying solo, then she'll be back. Until then, watch out! My keeper is gone, so the Kept Dad is unleashed...which come to think of it, isn't much different from the Kept Dad leashed. I'm kind of boring that way.
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